Reflections from Marvelous Light 2008

dsc04001“This is the message we have heard and declare to you: God is light; in him there is no darkness at all. If we claim to have fellowship with him, yet walk in the darkness we lie and do not live by the truth. But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin.”

In April 2007, several folks participating in Christ Journey Church came together in uncharted waters to sail the seas of the first Marvelous Light Retreat. For reflections from a retreat participant back in April 2007, click here. Then, in November 2007, Marvelous Light sailed again, this time, in partnership with our friends from Sunrise Church of Christ in Grand Prarie. To read comments describing that Marvelous weekend, click here and here. After a year in the shipyard, Marvelous Light jumped into the water once again over the weekend of November 21-22, 2008. This time, Christ Journey Church, Storyline Christian Community, New River Church, Vine Life Church, and Sunrise were all along for the journey.

On Friday night, November 21, we gathered in the Recreation Hall of Camp Hoblitzelle in Midlothian, TX, and we left for home on Saturday afternoon, November 22. The rhythm of a Marvelous Light Retreat Weekend includes three primary venues: big group teaching times, testimonies, and ministry group (gender-specific groups of 2 or 3) times. Up to this point, each version of the retreat has contained some things that were the same as previous versions and other things that were completely different. I like that aspect of the weekend. Each time we journey through Marvelous Light, whether we are first-time travelers, or veterans, God reveals new aspects of his light, new areas of darkness in our lives, and new friends to travel alongside. On Saturday, our itinerary included five specific areas of darkness: bondage, unforgiveness, legalism, materialism, and sexual purity. The teachings were meaningful and convicting, and the “in-house” testimonies were authentic, passionate, and piercing. Thank you to those who, from your own experience, so freely shared how God’s redeeming light rescued (and continues rescuing) you from the darkness.

dsc04006Over the course of the weekend, I had the oh-so unenviable job of “Time Policeman.” This meant that it was up to me to make sure we remained on schedule, and to communicate our time constraints to the group. If you ever see someone else holding up their hand to signify the #5 while looking in my direction, now, you’ll know why. However, because my focus was devoted to the administration of the weekend (i.e. stocking snacks and drinks, keeping us on schedule, taking pictures, directing people to dorms, etc.), during some of that time, I was able to watch. I watched people who barely knew each others’ names before the weekend began, then leave the retreat center as close friends sharing more things in common than they would have ever dreamed. I watched grown men hug, cry, laugh, confess, pray, encourage, smile, sing, and fervently seek the Lord together. I watched husbands and wives forgive and reconcile. I watched those carrying huge backpacks of unforgiveness of themselves and others, lay those backpacks down at the throne of God. I watched someone once afraid to pray out loud preach one of the best sermons I have ever heard. I watched a friend who came to the first Marvelous Light Retreat back in April 2007 in frailty, confusion, and hopelessness, extend encouragement, friendship, and hope to another sister leading her through the darkness toward the light. I watched a dear brother look at himself in the mirror, and at least for a moment, consider the person he sees staring back at him through the eyes of God. I watched celebration. I watched confession. I watched repentance. I watched life in the light.

dsc040222For those who left comments on previous blog posts, or sent emails of prayer commitment: “thank you.” To those who planned or participated in the weekend: “thank you.” To a God who is still near…who is still illuminating darkness with marvelous light: “thank you.”

For pictures, from the weekend, click here.

If you would like to share your description of this year’s Marvelous Light Retreat, please leave a comment. If you would like to read from others who have shared their reflections from Marvelous Light 2008, click on the names provided below.

Heidi Chappotin

Charles Kiser

Rachel Wells

Amber Wurzbach

p.s. To all my Mission Alive brothers and sisters, to me, the weekend was a testimony to the vision of MA and the work of the Lord within us and through us. It was a meaningful blessing to share in the experience with you, and I look forward to doing it again.

Pictures from Marvlelous Light ‘08

We are thankful for a God who is near, who still changes lives, whose Kingdom is still breaking into this world.

Posts will come soon; however, for the pictures I was able to take during “Marvelous Light ‘08″ click here!

Marvelous Light ‘08: The Prelude

Our next Marvelous Light Retreat will take place at Camp Hoblitzelle in Midlothian this weekend. As with most of this church planting journey, God has formed Marvelous Light from the dust and continues breathing his new life into it. This weekend will mark our 3rd time through the retreat, and each time, God reveals himself in mighty, fresh ways.

As we look forward to the weekend, I thought it appropriate to look back upon the last Marvelous Light Retreat which took place November 16-17, 2007. Here are some reflections from that weekend:

“I realized that the biggest thing holding me back from receiving the full blessings of God was the spirit of unforgiveness. I realized that I said I forgave but I just called it something else. I pointed fingers at other things. “Well, they made the bad decisions, they are not humble, they sure do have issues!” In reality, all those things are true, but because of my unforgiveness, I harbored anger and resentment. Those two things alone are enough to drive you insane when your mind starts thinking about it. Your stomach starts to boil, your blood starts to rush, your head feels heavy and before you know it you are taking it out on everyone around you who loves you. Then the ball starts rolling, they take it out on the people around them and around them and around them…. No wonder there are so many angry people. But for me, NO MORE. I refuse to let Satan take my joy away anymore. I refuse to let Satan take my blessings away anymore. I know that I was changed at the retreat because I had an opportunity this weekend to let the anger retake control. I did not do it. I was faced with the one thing that would get me seething mad and I did not bite. Instead, I chose to remain calm. My stomach did not start to boil, my blood did not start to rush, my head did not feel heavy. I was completely and irrefutably unaffected. Even when I realized nothing was happening, I still was unaffected. Even when the disscussion heated, I still remained calm. At that moment, I knew that my prayers at that retreat with the 2 other women in my triad were heard and delivered upon. I knew that that burden in my magical backpack was gone. I knew that God had answered my call to take them away from me. Wow, what a freedom I have received! I have been blessed beyond meausure since then.” (For these comments in their entirety, click here.)

“In the weeks leading up to M.L. my spiritual life had become fairly static. I was stuck in daily routine and was not creating the time for God that had fueled me up to that point. Quite honestly I didn’t want to go, but through the phone calls of others and a push from [my wife], God moved me to go. I immediately saw that community and shared transparency allows God to shine His light on us. What struck me the most was the need I had for this (before I went, I would have told you I didn’t need it) and the healing power it has…In God’s marvelous light, I was able to see the dark spots in me that are so easy to push aside as I live day to day…This being a bi-annual event, I will be a bi-annual participant.” (For these comments in their entirety, click here.)

“As a repeat participate at Marvelous Light, I realized that each time I experience the weekend, God reveals darkness hidden within me that I did not recognize on my own. He is so gracious to continue filling me with His light.”

“At first, I thought it was going to be scary, but after a lot of tugging by my friend, I agreed to come. It wasn’t scary at all! The messages made sense, and the topics dealt heavily with situations that I’m going through. Also, the members of my triad were fantastic. I appreciate them accepting me and praying for me.”

Thank you for joining us in prayer for ML ’08.

B-I-N-G-O

Acts 1:8: “…you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes on you; and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the earth.”

Toward the end of October, our house church began to seriously consider and pray about Jerusalem. For us, Jerusalem is not a city on the other side of the globe as much as it is the neighborhood in which our house church gathers. If we truly hope to be a neighborhood house church, and if we believe what we pray which is that someday most of the participants in our house church might be residents of this neighborhood, then how might we, even now, set out to be a blessing in this neighborhood by the power of the Holy Spirit?

For us, this question spawned a series of related questions: In our neighborhood, who are the downcast…who are the neglected…who are the ones that we so easily pay little attention to? Again, for us, the answer was clear: the residents of Trinity Mission Nursing Home. When was the last time you ventured inside a nursing home? For me, it had not been since October 2007…the last time I had been to a nursing home, I fed my Dad low mein and fried rice, and little did I realize, it was the last time I would ever see him in this life. However, as a called and sent people formed by the cross of Jesus, sometimes, we must face our own brokenness as we enter into the brokenness of others.

Tuesday nights at Trinity Mission are “Bingo” nights! It’s a remarkable story. A little under a year ago, a family who’s mother was a resident at Trinity Mission started hosting “Bingo Nights” on Tuesdays. Shortly after “Bingo Nights” began, the mother of this family passed away. However, even in a short period of time, the family had developed close relationships with other Trinity Mission residents, and as a result, the “Bingo Nights” kept on.

We pulled our chairs up to the residents, and joined right in. Some of our house church participants helped our new friends at Trinity Mission play their cards…some of them called out “Bingo!” for them…some of them cheered as the winners were announced. While we played, I got to sit next to a 102-year old woman. That doesn’t happen everyday! After the playing was over, we had the humble blessing of escorting most of the residents back to their rooms.

We look forward to returning to “Bingo Night” at Trinity Mission on Tuesday, November 25. Perhaps, this is the start of several wonderful friendships.

Like Treasure Buried in a Field

Tonight, during our house church gathering in my living room, she prayed for my daughter. Her name is Jennifer (okay, not really, but…), and she is around 19 or 20 years old. Last year, she graduated from high school in Burleson, and currently, she works as a receptionist for a local childcare center. She lives in Joshua with her mother who was healed of cancer a couple of months ago. She was not raised in a Christian home, and had never had any contact with any church of any kind until February of this year. She wants to believe that God exists, is active in the world, and loves her; however, as with all of us, she needs a little help with her unbelief. She is seeking Him though…perhaps with more vigor than most of us realize. From time to time, she will send me text messages asking deep questions of faith. This was her most recent question: “If God loves us and wants us to follow him by loving others, why do Christians show hate toward homosexuals.” My response: “Great question, Jennifer. Sometimes, I ask myself the same thing.” She is not a Christian yet, but God seems to be forming a Christ-like love for those who are rejected or considered outcasts. She is already coming to understand that there is more to life with God than asserting certain beliefs. Instead, as a community formed by the cross of Christ, daily, we pick up that cross living for the sake of others. I am thankful that Jennifer is a regular participant in the house church that my family is a part of, because God is greatly using her to model such a life for us.
Tonight, during our house church gathering in my living room, she prayed (out loud for the very first time) for my daughter. She prayed that my daughter would not stray from her faith in Jesus as she grew older. She prayed that where ever the opportunities of this life took her that she would still be connected to Jesus Christ and the community of Christ Journey Church. Tonight, the fragrant sacrifice of out-loud prayers were offered before the Lord by Jennifer, a dear friend and not-yet Christian who is growing in the ways of Christ.

Some Love From Austin

Click here.

Published in: on October 12, 2008 at 12:23 am Comments (0)
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Repent, Bless, Sent

From the Sun, Oct 12 worship gathering of Christ Journey…

“We have forgotten. We have forgotten. We have forgotten love. We have allowed our love to rise and fall like the ocean tides. We have reserved our love for those we deem worthy of it, only to pull it away like a child snatching a toy from those whose worthiness we deem suspect. We have allowed the feelings of our love to drive our extension of it; however, feelings, though important, for the most part, cannot be trusted and are not a true extension of love. We have forgotten to love our spouses as Christ loves the church. We have forgotten to love our children as the heavenly Father loves us. We have forgotten to love each other as our way of loving the Lord. We have forgotten to extend our love into the lives of this community. We have forgotten that love is patient. Love is kind. Love is not envious, boastful, proud, rude, self-seeking, easily-angered, or a compiler of wrongs. No, love is greater than them all. We have forgotten love.

We have forgotten grace. We live as if finding faults in others deserves the most prominent place on our to-do list. We live seeking to differentiate ourselves from each other instead of celebrating our diversity. The Psalmist says, “I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made…For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb.” Believe it or not, but all of us are echoes of the Psalmist’s praise. All of us are fearfully and wonderfully made. All of us were created by the Most High; knit together in the wombs’ of our mothers. How dare we make value judgments against each other. How can we speak with malice, condemnation, and hatred against each other? How can we sow discord through gossip, and speaking of others outside of their presence? How can we gather to glory the Lord whom we have not seen, without first, reconciling with our brother or sister whom we have seen. Instead, may we reflect Jesus’ prayer in the Garden. May we be one as He and the Father are One. As Paul reminds us, “I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received. Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.” Remember, it is by grace that we have been and are being saved.

We have forgotten that the church can not be reduced to goods and services. Our capitalistic society is built on the practice of buying and selling goods. As a result of this societal characteristic and, if we are truly honest with ourselves, our own selfishness, oftentimes, the church is viewed as another good or service to be consumed. Have you ever been in the car with your significant other attempting to choose a restaurant on a Friday or Saturday night? After working through all of the “I don’t know. Where do you want to go-s?”, typically, you choose one of your favorite restaurants. How did the restaurant achieve the status of “favorite” to you? Well, you probably like the food. You probably like the service. You probably like the drink choices. You probably like the atmosphere. No matter what, you have selected the restaurant based on all of these ways in which the restaurant caters to you. Oftentimes, we view church the same way. I like the preacher. I like the worship band. The worship gathering is short. The worship gathering is long. The chairs are comfortable. I have an amazing religious experience. The start time of the worship gathering is conveinent. However, let me prime our pump with two things that Mike Toole will talk about in more detail this morning. 1) The church does not exist for us, and 2) What we do in this coffee shop on Sunday mornings in not church. As Gailyn Van Rheenen says in his article, “Imaging Christ’s Church in the City,” may the people along our Christ Journey (those who have gathered this morning and those who have not): “Imagine churches where Christians are not merely spectators but live in community. Christians practice the “one another” relationships descriptive of Christian fellowship in the Bible. They are God’s holy people “clothed…with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience.” They “bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances they have against one another. They forgive as the Lord forgave them.” Love “binds them all together in perfect harmony.” The church is a community of God on a pilgrimage through life helping each other to continue as Christ’s disciples and encouraging others to join them on the journey to reach heaven.” We are not a building. We are not a coffee shop. We are not a worship service. We are not a meeting to fit into our busy schedules. Instead, we are as Peter describes us: “…a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people belonging to God…a people called out of darkness and into light.” We have forgotten who we are.

With Isaiah, we cry out to the Lord, “We are a people of unclean lips,” and as rapper, Lecrae writes (I knew Blake would appreciate this!), “We are amongst a people who’s on the same trip.”

We have forgotten…but we are not forgotten. We have forgotten…but we are not forgotten. In the Bible at the end of the book of Matthew, Jesus gives what, today, we commonly refer to as “The Great Commission;” and the last sentence of this section reads, “And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.” Jesus meant those words when he spoke them 2,000 years ago, and he still means them when he speaks them today. Therefore, just as his disciples were sent into the world that day to “go and make disciples of all nations,” so we, even in our forgottenness, are sent to do the same thing.

But first, as a community, we must repent. We must turn from our lack of love, lack of grace, and commodification of church, and this morning, we do that by blessing, sending, and joining with one of our own.

I first met Bret Wells in September 2005 just weeks before the public launch of Christ Journey. Little did I know, that as the Lord was launching this church, he was also launching a friendship that would grow into Bret’s service as a Pastor among this body. For years before, and ever since that meeting in the fall of ’05, Bret, Rachel, and their boys have been in prayer, consideration, and conversation in the realm of starting new churches. We praise God that He has led them to us, and that, going forward, we might share this journey together.

This morning Christ Journey, may we repent, and may our expression of repentance consist of gathering around the Wells in prayer, closeness, blessing, and sending. Just as God sent himself into the Garden of Eden…just as Jesus was sent to 1st century Palestine…just as the Holy Spirit was sent upon the 120 gathered in the upper room…so we have been sent into Burleson, Crowley, Alvarado, Joshua, south Fort Worth, and the surrounding communities for the sake of others.

We are a family, and this morning, with glad and sincere hearts, we welcome you, Bret, Rachel, Conner, Micah, and Josiah Wells into our family to love, extend grace, and learn with us how we might live out the abundant life of God.

In Acts 13:1-3, the Scriptures reveal, “In the church at Antioch there were prophets and teachers: Barnabas, Simeon called Niger, Lucius of Cyrene, Manean and Saul. While they were worshipping the Lord and fasting, the Holy Spirit said, ‘Set apart for me Barnabas and Saul for the work to which I have called them.’ So after they had fasted and prayed, they placed their hands on them and sent them off.’”

This morning, we believe that the Holy Spirit has said to us, “Set apart for me Bret, Rachel, Conner, Micah, and Josiah Wells for the work to which I have called them.” Therefore, we gather around you, this morning, blessing and sending you and all of us into this community. As Ruth said to Naomi, we say to you, “Where you go we will go, and where you stay we will stay. Your people will be our people and your God our God.”

Today, as a community of friends, we repent, we bless, we send.“

Death By Surburbia

Last Friday night, Heidi went to hang out with a longtime friend. Torie, Ryan, and I took off in the Camry to take Torie to meet Granny (aka Grandma C.), so she could spend the weekend in Keller. Usually, we meet in Fort Worth; however, I left the house a little early, and instead, drove farther north to Watauga. While we were waiting on Granny, we jaunted into Half Price Books, and after dropping Torie off in the children’s section, Ryan and I wandered over to the books on religion.

I have always wrestled with the suburbs. Don’t get me wrong. I enjoy where I live. I am happy with our neighborhood and neighbors. I like Torie’s school, and the fact that it is literally 1.1 miles from my house. I like my nice brick home, and 2.5 boxers patrolling the backyard. I like that my kids have friends to play with in the neighborhood.

However, on several levels, especially as we have entered into church planting, I have always struggled with the suburban landscape. Coffee and gas cost relatively the same. Garage doors stay closed, and tall window-covering shrubs are plentiful. On more days than not, Wal-Mart looks like organized looting, and the main draw in moving to our community is the promise of a “good life.” Eating at home is something we did in the past. Our schedules (and lives) revolve around children’s activities. I have almost 200 “friends” on Facebook, but couldn’t tell you the names of more than a handful of people living on my street.

With all of these (and more) concerns swirling in my head, I looked up at the Half Price Books(helf), and saw a 200-page paperback with the following title: Death By Suburbia: How To Keep the Suburbs from Killing Your Soul. Written in 2006 by an author (David L. Goetz) whose name sounded familiar…that’s worth a $7 gamble. Turns out, the book challenged my life from top to bottom, and I am still processing through its pages.

The author’s thesis can be found on page 5, “I think my suburb, as safe and religiously coated as it is, keeps me from Jesus. Or at least, my suburb (and the religion of the suburbs) obscures the real Jesus. The living patterns of the good life affect me more than I know. Yet the same environmental factors that numb me to the things of God also hold out great promise. I don’t need to escape the suburbs. I need to find Jesus here.” Goetz goes on to explain why and how the characteristics of suburban culture, in reality, push God out of life. However, as the quote above maintains, his response to such a culture is not rejection or escape, but instead, focus on the ways in which God might be revealing himself here.

Throughout the rest of the book, Goetz details “environmental toxins” of suburban existence, and then suggests “spiritual practices” for growing with God into new ways of living. Basically, “environmental toxins” are lies interwoven within the suburban way of life. Here are the eight “environmental toxins” Goetz unpacks in the book:

“I am in control of my life.”
“I am what I do and what I own.”
“I want my neighbor’s life.”
“My life should be easier than it is.”
“I need to make a difference with my life.”
“My church is the problem.”
“What will this relationship do for me?”
“I need to get more done in less time.”

Yikes. Consider me guilty on all eight counts. Of the eight mentioned, two leaped off the page and out of my heart: “I am what I do and what I own,” and “What will this relationship do for me?” As I mentioned in the video blog on a different post, transitioning from the summer into the fall, I began to realize just how much I truly believed such a lie. My performance, productivity, and reputation addictions were sucking the joy out of life, church, friends, and time. Last night, I watched a special about Michael Jordan’s attempt at playing baseball. In the piece, he talked about how the joy basketball once gave him had evaporated; and therefore, he ventured out to try something new. My preoccupation with results and self-imposed benchmarks prevented me from finding joy, laughter, and fun in my work. However, even before reading this book, God has been revealing this destructive life pattern in me, and Goetz continued challenging me to get rid of it. In Chapter 2, he builds upon the work of Ernest Becker by fleshing out the concept of “immortality symbols.” Goetz quotes Becker who writes, “Money gives power now–and, through accumulated property, land, and interest, power in the future…The symbols of immortal power that money buys exist on the level of the visible, and so crowd out their invisible competitor…No wonder economic equality is beyond the imagination of modern, democratic man: the house, the car, the bank balance are his immortality symbols.” (p. 41-42). Goetz personalizes Becker’s comments for himself and me as he responds, “An immortality symbol is not really about the thing. It’s not about baseball. It’s not really about my child. [These are references to stories told earlier in the book.] It’s about the glory that the thing bestows on me. I will be famous, finally. I will have the masses bow down and then rise up and call me Lord.” (p. 42) Ouch…right between the eyes.

Second, the book helped me understand the prevalence of “transactional relationships” in my life. In other words, give and take relationships where both parties are the recipients of personal benefits. Sounds good, right? Goetz says, “Transactional relationships get you the good jobs, the next deal, the inside track to senior management. No one ever made it to the top ranks on performance and hard work alone. You give to get. When you get, you give back.” (p. 148) However, he goes on to contrast such an arrangement with deep, true, life-altering “spiritual friendships.” He continues, “Spiritual friendship is subversive in an environment of transaction and efficiency…Friendship subverts the system of power, how things get done in the ‘burbs and the class system organized around symbols of immortality.” (p. 148) You know…we tend to function this way in church, too. Later in the chapter, Goetz reveals, “Even in church, what you do (a man’s ultimate immortality symbol)–and thus who you are–matters. You are welcomed into my coterie if you measure up.” (p. 154) It seems that we must learn: “You can’t use relationships as a means to position yourself in life and then also expect to experience in them the kind of friendship that sweetness life and takes the edge off its hard parts.” (p. 154) No doubt. Perhaps, change is in order.

If you made it all the way to the end of this post, you are to be commended. As the wife of a North Texas preacher says in her e-newsletters, “there…feel the heart-lift!”

Am I (and David L. Goetz) completely off base here, or do some of you feel the same tensions in regards to suburban life? Is there something wrong with spending more time on myspace or in front of the television than in our front yards? Whom do you know better: Oprah or your next door neighbor? Are you a stay-at-home Mom craving the deeper friendships that Death By Suburbia describes? Most of the people I know, and I would guess that most of the people reading this post, live in the suburbs. Please, join the conversation.

Hangin’ with Torie & Ryan

It seems like yesterday that we were putting the finishing touches on the summer, and sending Torie off for the start of 2nd grade. Now, the air conditioner is off, the Cowboys have already played four games, and I am a couple of weeks away from putting the lawn mower up for the winter. Pretty soon, it will be time to celebrate Thanksgiving break.

Torie has been working hard at school. 2nd grade is serious business with regular tests, sentence writing, and higher level reading. Ryan fills his days with fire trucks, Backyardigans, and playing outside. Lately, he has even been going to work with Mommy. I’m sure Grandmom enjoys that.

Both Torie (8) and Ryan (2) had birthdays in September. Heidi put together a fantastic combined birthday party on September 13, and we were thankful for those who were able to participate. Torie’s actual birthday is September 24, and we kept her out of school, spent the day at the Rangers’ last home game of the season (click on “Tidbits” at the top of this page, and check out the video clip), and then celebrated with cupcakes at On the Border. She was so excited to eat at On the Border for her birthday, because she knew that they would sing to her and make her do something silly. Ryan’s actual birthday is September 5, and that night we opened a few presents and ate cupcakes. I can’t believe that yesterday was his 2-year old checkup at the doctor. Wasn’t he taking his first steps a few days ago? Now, he talks more than I do!

Published in: on at 12:16 am Comments (0)

Kids Go To School & Moms Eat Muffins

For pictures from Torie’s 1st day of school, & reflections from “Mom’s & Muffins”, click here.

Published in: on August 27, 2008 at 12:15 am Comments (1)
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